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Darryl Hannah Nude in “A Close Book”

March 4th, 2010 at 12:36pm Under Celebrity News

Click header for NSFW image

Daryl Hannah might be old enough to actually remember the Bay of Pigs and the debut of Mr. Ed on a three-channel television set, but damn if she doesn’t still look good naked. I always thought that chaining yourself to a tree was only good for making yourself victim of anal rape and sodomy, but apparently, it also does wonders for the physique. I’ll have to remember that the next time I’m wandering alone in the woods in Western Apalachicola.

With her clothes on at some hippie-dippy whale thing:

PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News

Audrina Partridge in FHM UK

March 2nd, 2010 at 09:35am Under Celebrity News

“The Hills” star Audrina Partridge strips down in the British version of FHM, which you’ll notice is a lot like our FHM, but with kilometers instead of miles and fish ‘n’ chips instead of toothbrushes. Lucky for us, boobs are not bound by cultural idiosyncrasies. Pip pip cheerio, mates!

S.S. Alessandra Ambrosio is See-Through

February 25th, 2010 at 12:34pm Under Celebrity News

These pictures of Alessandra Ambrosio may or may not be new. Regardless (and irregardless), I’m putting them up, because they have bare bottom and see-through nipples. I mean, you can see through to her nipples. Her nipples themselves aren’t see-through. You know, in case you thought you were gonna get a look inside her thoracic cavity by means of transparent areola. And if that’s the case, you should probably take off the ladies’ undergarments and get back to dismembering your neighbor before she starts to smell. Fuckin weirdo.

Lady Gaga in Q Magazine

February 25th, 2010 at 09:52am Under Celebrity News

I’m not sure why Lady Gaga’s wielding a big black strap-on on the cover of Q Magazine. Maybe it was just laundry day and her real penis was in the wash. It probably gets dirty getting tucked back into her ass crack all the time.

Charlie Sheen, Wife, Children in Rehab

February 24th, 2010 at 10:17am Under Celebrity News

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Now that his wife Brooke Mueller checked herself into rehab earlier this month, Charlie Sheen decided to follow suit and check himself into rehab yesterday. But not the same rehab, because that might be awkward. According to TMZ

Charlie Sheen voluntarily checked himself into rehab and there was “no one big thing that happened that made him go.”

Charlie will spend two weeks in rehab. He will get outpatient treatment once he checks out.

So if he’s in rehab, and his wife is in rehab, then who’s watching the kids? Um, probably the drug counselors, because the kids are also in rehab:

Charlie Sheen’s wife, Brooke Mueller, currently has the couple’s two children at the rehab facility she’s at.

Mueller’s rehab facility allows children, and Brooke’s kids are with her right now.

Ah. I see. It might be too soon in their young lives for the kiddies to ride a bike without training wheels or use the big kid swings on the playground, but it’s never too early to voluntarily incarcerate them bunch of alcoholics and drug addicts consumed with sexual issues. My stupid parents did it all wrong.

And now old pics of Marisa Miller topless. because her body hasn’t been ravaged by crack cocaine and whiskey bloat (all thumbs NSFW):

S.S. Olympic Skier Lindsey Vonn in Sports Illustrated

February 18th, 2010 at 01:04pm Under Celebrity News

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Lindsey Vonn, the most successful female skier in history, took home the gold in the Olympic downhill in Vancouver yesterday, and she’s expected to win at least two more in the next few days. So I thought it was only fitting that I post these pictures of her in a bikini in Sports Illustrated. You know, so you could get a load of her “mounds” on the, um… “peaks.” Okay, I’ll stop now.

Tags: 2010, bikini, Gossip, lindsey vonn, olympics, Photos, pictures, sports illustrated, topless

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Robert Pattinson is “Allergic to Vagina”

February 15th, 2010 at 09:24am Under Celebrity News

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Twilight puss Robert Pattinson was forced to endure a 12-hour photo shoot with a bunch of naked chicks for his spread in next month’s Details magazine. See if you can guess how much he enjoyed that. Nine MSN says

“I really hate vaginas,” Showbiz Spy quoted him as saying. “I’m allergic to vagina. But I can’t say I had no idea, because it was a 12-hour shoot, so you kind of get the picture that these women are going to stay naked after, like, five or six hours.

But I wasn’t exactly prepared. I had no idea what to say to these girls. Thank God I was hungover.”

“Allergic to vagina?” I’ve never heard it called that before. Most people usually refer to that condition as “faggoty-ass faggot.” In fact, that’s actually the correct term to use when filling out medical questionnaires and college applications. Just so you know.

Several of these are NSFW:

Tags: boobs, breasts, details, Gossip, magazine, Photos, pictures, Robert Pattinson, topless, Twilight, vaginas

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S.S. VS Model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley Topless in DT

February 12th, 2010 at 09:34pm Under Celebrity News

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I’m not sure how old these pictures of Victoria’s Secret angel Rosie Huntington-Whiteley are, but it says “2010″ on the cover, so I figure they’re recent. It also says “Enero” in tiny print under the title, which I just discovered is Spanish for “it’s tits you faggy know-it-all crybaby.” Nobody likes a whiner!

Several of these are NSFW, but all are VSFM (very suitable for masturbating):

Tags: boobs, breasts, DT Magazine, Gossip, naked, nipslip, nude, Photos, pictures, Rosie Huntington Whiteley, topless, Victoria's Secret

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Naked Snooki Pics Are Here

February 12th, 2010 at 03:08pm Under Celebrity News

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Even though she’s denied they exist, the first of several naked photos of Jersey Shore’s Snooki has been made its way onto the interwebs via the magical portal known as NakedSnooki.com. The photo in question shows Snooki on all fours but strategically covered, and sucking in with vengeance only previously seen courtesy Britney Spears and a can of Cheez Whiz. Radar Online says

RadarOnline.com has seen several photos and they appear to be genuine. The background of the photos matches the background of photos Snooki has released via Twitter – and the background is her bedroom.

There is also a short video that exists. Most of the photos are strategically posed, hiding much of Snooki’s body.

The people in possession of the photos have chosen to remain anonymous so far. But they have registered a domain name and put the photo on a Web site, where RadarOnline.com has viewed it.

It is the one of the set of photos previously seen by RadarOnline.com.

Good God. I’ve never seen skin that color in my life. It’s like a cross between Donatella Versace and a well-oiled catcher’s mitt. Although from a distance, you’d really be hard-pressed to tell either of those two things apart.

Tags: boobs, breasts, Gossip, Jersey Shore, naked pics, nicole polizzi, nude pictures, snooki, topless

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Kelly Bensimon in Playboy

February 12th, 2010 at 10:08am Under Celebrity News

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The Real Housewives of New York’s Kelly Bensimon has a spread in next month’s issue of Playboy magazine, which you won’t see here because Playboy has lots of lawyers who seem unfazed by my sparkling intellect and effervescent joie de vivre (legally approved teaser pic here). Instead, you can visualize what she looks like naked using only these pics of her in a bikini and the power of your imagination. Like the lion with the glasses on the poster at the library says, imagination can take you anywhere!