Quickies

Quickies: Send in the Clowns

March 9th, 2010 at 12:38pm Under Celebrity News

Jack from “Will and Grace” finally comes out of the closet. (Hollywood PQ)

Roger Ebert makes a rare public appearance since losing losing the entire bottom half of his face to cancer. (Moe Jackson)

When did Michelle Rodriguez get the killer rack? (Hollywood Rag)

Natalie Portman looking beautiful as always at the Vanity Fair Oscar party. (UseMyComputer)

Maria Menounos drops some serious cleavage on the red carpet. (Popoholic)

The Ikki twins are infinitely hotter now that they’ve dumped Hugh Hefner. (Right Celebrity)

Heidi Klum might be smokin hot, but you’d never know it from these pictures. (The Grumpiest)

First stills from “The Bachelor’s” Rozlyn Papa’s sex tape! (The Dirty)

Jessica Alba in bed with a come-hither smile… (Dirty Rotten Whore)

All the 82nd Annual Academy Award nipslips you might have missed. (City Rag)

L’il Wayne begins his year in jail today. (Holy Moly)

Heidi Montag’s Funny or Die video isn’t funny and she doesn’t die. Frankly, I feel a little shortchanged. (Litely Salted)

Amber Rose can wear clothes that cover more than her nipples and genitals. Who knew? (Celeb Smack)

Beth Ditto looks like a clown corpse that’s suffering severe post-mortem bloat. Yikes. (popbytes)

VS model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley naked for Purple magazine. (CelebNewsWire)

Gerard Butler and Gabby Sidibe? Excuse me while I gouge out my mind’s eye. (The Fab Life)

Quickies: Money Shot

March 8th, 2010 at 03:00pm Under Celebrity News

Holly Madison hosts the Adriana Fernadez bikini launch, and — surprise! — they’re all in bikinis. (Moe Jackson)

No way that’s Christina Ricci. (Socialite Life)

Christina Hendricks deserves an Oscar for her amazing rack display. (UseMyComputer)

Miley Cyrus’ mom, or down-on-her-luck dayshift stripper? Only her stylist knows for sure. (Hollywood Rag)

Leighton shows some leg. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Find out what Ryan O’Neal had to say about the Academy snubbing Farrah Fawcett in the “In Memorandum” segment of the show. (Wonderwall)

Hilary Swank had the Vanity Fair Oscar’s party’s best dress, ~~pants~~ hands down. (Holy Moly!)

Bar Rafaeli looked like sex on a stick at the Academy Awards. (CelebSlam)

Lindsay Lohan’s boobs make a surprise reappearance in Dior! (Derek Hail)

Alessandra Ambrosio stretching in a bikini to give you that uncomfortable afternoon-at-work-boner. (The Superficial)

The most divisive movie in Pajiba history, and it’s NOT Avatar. (Pajiba)

Gabbie Sidibes’ dress is porno-riffic. And vomit-tastic. (LitelySalted)

Sandra Bullock picks up her Worst Actress of the Year Award a day before she wins Best Actress at the Oscars. How fickle is Hollywood! (Celebrity Odor)

Quickies: Resplendent

March 5th, 2010 at 11:49am Under Celebrity News

More of the delicious Sofia Vergara’s amazing rack. (UseMyComputer)

Marc Anthony in the faggiest turtleneck I’ve ever seen. (CityRag)

Kourtney Kardashian’s pregnancy cans are gi-normous. (CelebSlam)

Roseanna Barr goes on a tirade agains Mormans! (Allie is Wired)

Eva Longoria gets sexy in high heels… and not much else. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Dave Navarro’s wiener is either two inches big or his hands are the size of catcher’s mitts. (CelebNewsWire)

Mickey Rourke banged 14 broads at once, and he wants to tell you all about it. (Socialite Life)

Rihanna has sexy robot sex at the Echo Awards! (Holy Moly)

Nicolas Cage looks like an out-of-work magic shop employee. (Hollywood Rag)

Mena Suvari borrows Amy Winehouse’s beehive for the night. (Moe Jackson)

Megan Fox’s high school pictures, before the nose job and lip injections. (CelebJihad)

Rihanna has some serious bingo wings in that outfit. Fortunately, the boobs make up for it. (The Grumpiest)

Lindsay Lohan crashes and burns at her first DJ-ing attempt. FAIL. (The Blemish)

Jessica Stroup upskirt! (Glamzilla)

Who is the scary lesbian on the cover of Rolling Stone? (Litely Salted)

Quickies: Hangin’ Tough

March 4th, 2010 at 03:27pm Under Celebrity News

Johnny Depp’s wife is scared of Angelina Jolie! (Seriously? OMG)

John Cusack is boning Brooke Burns. (Bricks and Stones)

Break out the sackcloth and ashes — Diane Krueger was a professional mourner. (Litely Salted)

Ever wondered what natural 32 E tits look like? Here you go. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Lady Gaga and Kelis try to out-stupid each other. (Holy Moly)

“The Office’s” Jim and Pam as each other. Warning: don’t look if you’re currently tripping balls. (Celebrity Odor)

Who’s the pederast with Miley Cyrus? (Celeb Jihad)

Rihanna as Moe from the Three Stooges, only blonde. (Socialite Life)

Joanna Krupa may have been sculpted by the hand of God himself. (Hollywood Rag)

Rebecca Gayheart birthed a fetus today. Hollywood PQ)

Mila Kunis looking gorgeous as always at the launch of Vera Wang’s boutique. (Moe Jackson)

Guess who moved back into Tiger’s ~~millions~~ mansion? (TMZ)

“The Crazies” does not have enough boobs. The end. (Pajiba)

The Top Ten Nude Academy Award Winners in one conveniently onanistic list. (Mr. Skin)

NKOTB’s Donnie Wahlberg had some seriously shitty plastic surgery! (Scandalist)

A behind the scenes look at former girlfriend Holly Madison. (Celebrity Smack)

Quickies: Lip Service

March 2nd, 2010 at 11:18am Under Celebrity News

Karate Kid as through the eyes of Michael Phelps. (Lainey Gossip)

John Travolta breaks out a new wig! (Socialite Life)

Ke$ha wants to get on John Mayer’s dick. There’s a match made in douche heaven. (Litely Salted)

I bet it took two tubs of Crisco to stuff Kim Kardashian’s fat ass in that body suit. (The Grumpiest)

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller had cracked-out threesomes! I have to admit, marriage is starting to sound more and more fun every day. (Celebitchy)

This unholiness is what happens when your dad doesn’t play catch with you as a kid. (Mo Egger)

See the Pamela Anderson commercial banned from Australian TV! (Hollywood Rag)

Lady Gaga says she’s celibate. I guess there are more perks to already having both sets of genitals than we ever could have realized. (Holy Moly)

What’s the secret behind Kirstie Alley’s new slimline physique? I’m guessing bacon drippings. (The Blemish)

This nasty skank’s lips may haunt my acid flashbacks forever. (The Dirty)

Center stage Bra-Off: Alessandra Ambrosio vs Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. (Moe Jackson)

All the pictures of Evageline Lilly ever taken. Ever. (UseMyComputer)

Courtney Love looks like she was assembled from intestinal casings and phyllo dough. God help us all. (CelebNewsWire)

A heartfelt tribute to Salma Hayek’s breasts. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Quickies: Work It Real Good

March 1st, 2010 at 12:32pm Under Celebrity News

All the pics from The Bachelor wedding! (CelebSlam)

Ashley Greene forgot her bra. (Moe Jackson)

Watch Kim Kardashian hose down her tits with an atomizer. (Hollywood Rag)

Hello, Irina Sheik; good-bye, pantalones. (Derek Hail)

“Cop Out” sucks like no other Kevin Smith movie has ever sucked. (Pajiba)

Elizabeth Hurley pulls out her massive cans for charity. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Lindsay Lohan looks like something you might see on the toilet paper after Roberto Cavalli wiped. (Holy Moly!)

Lady Gaga is seriously horny. (Litely Salted)

23-year old Ke$ha has the ass of a 47-year old divorcee. (CelebNewsWire)

Kelly Bensimon bikini pics, to make up for Ke$ha’s ass, and for having to type a fucking dollar sign instead of the letter s in her stupid name. (The Superficial)

Chuck Lidell’s naked husband-and-wife workout video. I’m not sure if I’m horrified or aroused. (Celebrity Odor)

Candice Swanepoel lingerie pics, because I’m a masochist and it hurts so good. (Celeb Jihad)

Since being the white one was just too milquetoast, Angelina Jolie gives Shiloh the guaranteed-to-be-a-future-lesbian haircut. Now it’s really a rainbow coalition! (Celebrity Smack)

Quickies: Karma Chameleon

February 26th, 2010 at 10:58am Under Celebrity News

Which celebrity is having an affair with a lesbian couple? (Gawker)

California Young Republican chairman Jennifer Rodriguez smokes pot: the pictures. (The Dirty)

It’s like something out of a freakin comic book: lingerie model Angie Sanselmente Valencia is the head of the world’s largest drug gang. (Gone Hollywood)

Matthew McConaughey looks like an out-of-work cabbie. (Hollywood PQ)

See the one pic of Coco’s ass that MySpace banned. (Dlisted)

Paris Hilton’s beer commercial deemed ‘too sensual’ for Brazil. I guess ’sensual’ means ‘wonky’ in Portuguese. (Post Chronicle)

VS model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley looks high as a fucking kite. (Moe Jackson)

Catfight: Lily Allen vs Courtney Love! (Hollywood Rag)

Can I interest you in a warm bowl of pussy? (UseMyComputer)

Octomom gets wasted with her girlfriends. (Socialite Life)

Incredibly embarrassing video of Ke$ha singing Karma Police in the eighth grade talent show. (Holy Moly)

Kylie Bisutti is the hotness. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Why is George Clooney crying on the inside? (CelebSlam)

Bret Michaels tells 17-year old Miley Cyrus to get undressed, and the police don’t get involved. How’d he do it? Find out here! (Litely Salted)

Here, kitty, kitty: Keira Knightley and Scarlett Johansson in an all-out diva war. (Celebitchy)

Olympic gold medalist Evan Lysacek looks like a young Marv Albert. (popbytes)

Quickies: Dirges in the Dark

February 25th, 2010 at 11:44am Under Celebrity News

Mariah Carey demonstrates why sweatpant culottes will never take the fashion industry by storm. (The Grumpiest)

Anthony Hopkins says Paris Hilton is a “soulless machine.” Much like people who don’t sing along when Don McLean’s “American Pie” comes on the radio. (Hollywood Rag)

I guess Pete Doherty’s shooting up in his fucking neck now. (Holy Moly)

The Olsen twins continue smoking fashion crack at the Elle Awards. (Moe Jackson)

Tricia Helfer’s side boob makes an unexpected reappearance. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Jesus wept, but this time tears of joy, because Madonna just got him a record deal. (Socialite Life)

The Jersey Shore and some old dude go shirtless for some reason. Ooh, the suspense is killing me! (Litely Salted)

Mike Patton flashes his wiener! He’s that one old guy from that one eighties band. (The Blemish)

Twilight’s Kellan Lutz’ PETA propoganda pics. (Celebrity Smack)

Have you no shame, Lego? A Stephen Hawking Lego to complete your Quadruplegic Physicists of the 20th Century collection. (Celebrity Odor)

Science creates the world’s most beautiful woman, and it’s not Kelly LeBrock. (Celeb Jihad)

Cindy Crawford’s nipples? Why, yes, please! (UseMyComputer)

The Top Ten Halo screen shots to make you laugh. (COED Magazine)

Now you can learn how to Bedazzle your vagina, thanks to these handy NSFW pictures! (OMG Blog)

Killer whale attacks and kills trainer at Sea World Orlando; Mo’nique goes missing for two hours and is discovered soaking wet. Coincidence? You decide. (Bitten and Bound)

Quickies: The Secret of the Ooze

February 24th, 2010 at 01:24pm Under Celebrity News

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Taylor Swift looks like a special-ed kid trying to shake off flies in the new movie “Valentine’s Day.” (Pajiba)

I’d like to see the series of unfortunate events that found Bar Rafaeli’s crotch mounted on back of The Situation’s head. (TMZ)

Kristen Dunst is wearing a blue wig and hanging out with Asian chicks in this new Cosplay video and I still don’t care. Go figure. (popoholic)

How many Zoe Saldana nipslips do you see? I count 12! (CityRag)

Is Kristen Stewart cheating on Faggy McFagsalot with her new British co-star? (Right Celebrity)

The men of the Olympics — shirtless. (Socialite Life)

Boner is missing! Funny, I said the same thing to my ex-husband four or five times a week when we were married. (CelebNewsWire)

Black and white and nude all over: The Top Ten Skinterracial Scenes of All Time. (Mr. Skin)

Mariah Carey keeps getting fatter and the dresses keep getting tighter. Complete wardrobe failure is bound to happen at some point. (Celebitchy)

Adriana Lima and Ana Beatriz Barros topless and tanned. Hope you like masturbating vintage-style. (Moe Jackson)

How to dress as Demi Moore’s beaver circa 1984. (Hollywood Rag)

Paris Hilton flashes the beaver. AGAIN. Still winter last time I checked! (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Hilary Duff blowjob pictures: the proof is in the pudding, baby! I don’t even know what that means, but it seems appropriate given the circumstances. (Holy Moly!)

The trailer for Showgirls II. It’s all too real. (Seriously? OMG)

“Lost” star Matthew Fox is fucking around on his wife with a dirty stripper! (I’m Not Obsessed)

Kristen Stewart is actually tolerable in a see-through shirt and no bra. Just barely, though. (Gabby Babble)

Why did Kate Hudson go to the Burberry Prorsum Catwalk Show dressed like a gay ninja turtle? (Bricks and Stones)

Quickies: Jump to Hyperspace

February 23rd, 2010 at 12:33pm Under Celebrity News

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Oh, Han Solo — how the mighty have fallen. (Socialite Life)

Kate Moss looks like the zombie corpse of that one dude from The Village People who wore a policeman’s hat. I think there’s even brains there on her jeans. (Hollywood Rag)

Bar Rafaeli proves once again that no airbrushing was required for her Sports Illustrated swimusit photo shoot. (Moe Jackson)

Watch Epic Bearded Man Tom Slick get the living fuck tased out of him at an A’s game. (The Dirty)

Rhian Sudgen may be what Adolf Hilter was going for with that whole “master race” plan. (Dirty Rotten Whore)

Paris Hilton’s beaver turns 29 in Vegas. And here it is seeing its shadow and ultimately plunging us into six more weeks of winter. (Glamzilla)

Miley Cyrus must have tangled with Ratt before this picture was taken. Possibly Pocohontas and her band of merry men. (Litely Salted)

Does Ke$ha’s new song “Blah Blah Blah” suck as much as that one song of hers they play on the radio all the goddamn time? Ooh, you’ll have to wait and find out for yourself! (Hollywood PQ)

Also, is there such a thing as a zebra toe? You know, instead of a camel toe? They’re both even-toed ungulates form the mammal order Artiodactyla, so I’m just going to say it: Ke$ha has a massive zebra toe in these pictures. Fact. (The Blemish)

Sweet Alessandra Ambrosio bikini pictures. (The Grumpiest)

Why is Johnny Depp on 48 Hours with a bunch of Satanists? No, seriously: I’m asking. I didn’t so much “read” as I did “pick out provocative words that suggest Johnny Depp likes blood sacrifices and pentagrams.” That’s how local news programs do it. (Huffington Post)

Lindsay Lohan in Latex. Literally. Alliteration! (UseMyComputer)

Cheryl Cole dumps her cheating cad of a husband: the public statement. (Holy Moly)

I didn’t write this, so I won’t feel bad linking it: Corky from “Life Goes On” to star in new Spiderman reboot! (CelebJihad)

What you didn’t see at the Tiger Woods’ apology. (Celebrity Odor)

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