pete wentz
January 15th, 2010 at 02:07pm
Under Celebrity News
Pete Wentz took his son Bronx on a walk around NYC yesterday and that little muffin was crying his face off the whole time. Poor guy was probably freezing, not to mention freaked out that there were guys taking his picture so that an asshole like me could later buy those photos and then post commentary about them on the Internet. It’s either one of those things or his father’s hair smells as bad as I assume it does. I don’t hate Pete, but I hope the dude turned around and gave his kid a cookie or something. Regardless, it’s clearly hard work being one of the cutest babies in the game.
Tags: Bronx Mowgli Wentz, pete wentz
By molls
Continue Reading Bronx Wentz: Cry Baby
November 22nd, 2009 at 02:23pm
Under Celebrity News
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz kept their baby Bronx alive for an entire year and yesterday they celebrated their glorious achievement by throwing their little boy a Sponge Bob themed birthday party.
You’d think that they’d do something Jungle Book related because the two are so obsessed with the Kipling book-turned Disney Classic that they got their son’s middle name from the main character (Mowgli– ew.), but they went with the Square Pants thing per the babies (kind of) request. “[Bronx] likes Bob and he likes guitar – which he calls ‘itar,’ so we’re going to have a SpongeBob party for him,” Pete told People. I would think that’d mean a Bob Marley themed birthday party, but I guess “special cake” would be lost on a one year old. Or kill him. I’m not suggesting people give their kids cake laced with marijuana, I’m just sayin’.
Perhaps my favorite part of this story is the nearly illiterate Tweets by the Simpson sisters made to commemorate the special day:
From Ashlee: “BX’s 1st bday tomorrow! My angel is going to be a year!! The greatest year of my life :)”
And Jessica: “Happy Birthday to my precious angel on earth!!! Bronx is 1 today!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!! I can’t believe it has been a year already.”
I’m going to be really sad when I have to write up a post next summer about how that poor baby got napped from Joe and Tina Simpson’s backyard by a coyote.
Tags: Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, Bronx Wentz, Jessica Simpson, pete wentz
By molls
Continue Reading Ashlee and Pete Celebrate Their Baby’s First Year
October 5th, 2009 at 01:41pm
Under Celebrity News
Earlier today on his Tumblr, Pete Wentz let us know what’s hip: “jay-z had the death of autotune. this is the death of the emo swoosh.” With those horrid bangs finally gone and this freshly buzzed head, I gotta say that Mr. Wentz is looking kind of cute.
Personally, I welcome the death of “the emo swoosh”, a hair cut that’s been emulated by every 14 year old boy and lesbian for the last five years. Not only was the look tired, but it got to the point where it was hard to look at the greasy locks on your conversation partner and not wonder when the hell the last time they showered was. Perhaps we can also kill the super skinny jeans, plaid shirts and two sizes too small hoodies while we’re already in the fashion graveyard, Pete? Thhhhaaanks.
Tags: pete wentz
By molls
Continue Reading Pete Wentz Declares The “Emo Swoosh” Dead
September 3rd, 2009 at 11:07am
Under Celebrity News
Remember when Ashlee Simpson got pregnant and tried to tell us it was because Pete Wentz inserted his Tab A into her Slot B? Well, listen, I don’t want to shake the foundations of anyone’s reality or anything, but Pete Wentz wears more eyeliner than I do, minces around in ladies’ jeans, has a pixie haircut, and pitches a baseball like he’s flinging rose petals at a Miss America coronation. I think Ashlee Simpson has some explaining to do, because you’d have an easier time getting viable sperm out of a Bratz doll than from Pete Wentz.
Sporty Spice throwing the first pitch at the Dodgers game:
Related Stories
Tags: Ashlee Simpson, baseball, Bronx Mowgli Wentz, Dodgers, Gossip, pete wentz
By sarah
Continue Reading Pete Wentz is a Giant Vagina
