Just when you thought the Lohan clan couldn’t get any worse, Michael Lohan goes ahead and outdoes his own previous attempts to solidify the public’s notion that he’s bat-shit crazy.
Erin Muller, the woman who Lohan allegedly kicked in the crotch, claims that Lohan placed a GPS tracking device on the “undercarriage” of her car and used the device to stalk her — everywhere she went.
The estranged couple is not foreign to public drama and sue-crazy tactics; Michael attempted to sue Muller for defamation of character and Muller allegedly retaliated by crying physical abuse. Muller is now speaking with attorneys regarding her rights as a private citizen and exploring her (newest) options for litigation.
This guy (not unlike the rest of his dysfunctional family) is a total douchenozzle. Someone needs to stick something in or around Lohan’s undercarriage, like, yesterday, but I can’t imagine anyone truly wanting to get close enough to do it.
Since news of the lawsuit broke, Lindsay herself has had no comment. (And she also doesn’t have a publicist anymore.) The closest thing Lindsay’s come to making a public statement since yesterday is musing on her Twitter about the symptoms of swine flu. She’s in Paris enjoying Fashion Week, drunk (on milk, ‘natch).
So then who’s filing the lawsuit? Gawker makes the compelling case that her father and possibly mother are the ones filing the suit:
But the strange thing about the suit is that the lead attorney on the case, Stephanie Ovadia, has done legal work for Michael Lohan in the past, and Michael has repeatedly posted fulsome praise of Ovadia’s legal skills to his Twitter feed as recently as January. Last we checked, Michael was still in the midst of his famous feud with Lindsay—just last week, father and daughter were lobbing tabloid insults at one another, with Lindsay saying she didn’t speak to Michael and calling him “nuts.” So why would she seek out her dad’s lawyer just a few days later to file a $100 million lawsuit?
And her mother, Dina Lohan, gave this interview to the NY Post today:
The “Mean Girls” star was left sobbing uncontrollably when she saw an E-Trade ad on Super Bowl Sunday about a ditsy, boyfriend-stealing infant named Lindsay she believed was created in her likeness, her irate mom told The Post yesterday.
“She said, ‘Mommy, help me. This is wrong. How can they do this?’ ” Dina Lohan said of a tearful phone call with her 23-year-old daughter after the big game. …
“I’m just basically glad I took a stand. I’m not going to let them do this to us anymore,” Dina Lohan said of the “horrible” and “mean” ad.
E-Trade rejected Grey’s preferred nickname — “flank-steak woman” — just three days after the name Lindsay appeared, opting instead for the tamer “milk-a-holic.” Three months later, in the lead-up to the Super Bowl, [Grey's chief creative officer, Tor] Myhren actually still had concerns that E-Trade was being too tame in limiting his punch line. “We’re locked in,” he told me on January 8, “on everything except the very, very last word. It was something really aggressive but I thought hilarious. The girlfriend pops her head in and says, ‘Say it to my milk-a-holic face!’ I think it would have become a catchphrase, but E-Trade felt it was too aggressive. Provisionally, we have her saying ‘Milk-a-what?’ which doesn’t quite have the edge. I think it falls flat, but I hope I’m wrong.”
FASCINATING STUFF, but it all points to the frivolity of this lawsuit and the very real likelihood that Lindsay’s crazy-ass, money-grubbing parents are behind this, because their own paychecks have dried up now that their cash cow daughter can’t stay sober long enough to make any real money.
Oh, and a behind-the-scenes look at the E-Trade campaign is above. SO CUTE. Also: How much is all this publicity worth to E-Trade? Probably not $100M, but my guess is they’re enjoying this quite a bit.
That Michael Lohan! What the hell would we do with out that guy? Here I was thinking this was going to be a crap news day with nothing fun to talk about and then BAM! Radar got Michael Lohan to say TERRIBLE things about his daughter in a public forum yet again.
This time around Michael’s talking about how badly Lindsay needs to go to rehab. Here are some quotes he gave the gossip site in a video interview:
“My daughter needs rehab for at least 3 months. Come on… let’s face it, there are pictures of her out there—you reported it, others have reported it…of her drinking and taking pills in public. If you’re on probation, is that what the system approves of?”
“I’ve been trying to get into court with the judge for a long time,” Lohan told RadarOnline.com. “The last time she was in court the judge should have drug tested her. If she had, I know Lindsay would have come up dirty and she would have been thrown into rehab.”
Michael also says that he’s been fighting Lindsay privately over her pill addiction. As recently as last Thursday, the two got in a spat when Michael informed Lindsay over text message that she needs to get help. Apparently, this was news was not well-received by Lindz.
At the end of the interview, Michael addresses his daughter directly and says, “It really p****s me off that when you have trouble or when you’re in St. Barth’s and you have nowhere to turn to and you tell me everything is going awry and your sister Ali is missing…I’m up 6 hours in the night trying to hire a jet to pick you up and take you home…and then you flip the script on me. Whenever you need me, you call me. Whenever you have a problem, I’m there for you. You can’t backstab people. You can’t turn your back on the people that love you and want to help you.”
See? That is such a meaningful quote. Ali Lohan was missing for six hours in St. Barth’s? An emergency jet was almost hired to pick them up? Michael Lohan lets all the skeletons out. What a crappy dad.
Although he probably is on to something with the rehab thing…
Lindsay Lohan’s probationary status from her 2007 DUI conviction is being reviewed in court today, and while she won’t be there, her father will, because he wants the media attention the judge to throw her ass in rehab. According to Radar Online
Michael Lohan is hoping to [convince] the judge overseeing Lindsay’s case at her status hearing on Thursday [that she needs to go into rehab for at least three months].
Lohan [said], “The last time she was in court the judge should have drug tested her. If she had, I know Lindsay would have come up dirty and she would have been thrown into rehab.
My daughter needs rehab for at least 3 months. Let’s face it, there are pictures of her out there… of her drinking and taking pills in public. If you’re on probation, is that what the system approves of?”
[He appealed to Lindsay personally, saying directly into the camera], “This is about you getting well, you getting healthy, me loving you and wanting you to do the right thing. The prescription drugs are killing you.”
Thank goodness for dads like Michael Lohan — the kind that have the foresight to either abandon their children so they can diddle the secretary or whore their kiddies out because they can’t hold down a full-time job. It’s not like you and four of your buddies can airtight a girl whose daddy loved her and gave her guidance and direction all her life. I think the porn industry owes you a heart-felt thank you, Mike!
HAHAHA! It’s been awhile since we’ve had any news on the LOHAN MAYHEM!!!!!!!! front, but oh man, this is hilarious. Apparently, Lindsay Lohan is a “secret celebrity hoarder.” When I saw this headline in Us, I got super duper excited because I thought it meant LiLo would be on the crazy addictive (and just plain crazy) A&E show “Hoarders”, but it turns out she’s just appearing on “The Insider” with Niecy Nash, who also hosts that “Clean House” show. Whatever. I’m disappointed, yet still vastly amused.
Is Lindsay Lohan a secret celebrity hoarder?
“I just need to get rid of … stuff,” the 23-year-old star says in a teaser for an exclusive interview on The Insider. “That’s personal stuff that I have to work on.”
That “stuff” has apparently taken over the actress’ home. According to The Insider, her bedroom has turned into a warehouse of shoes and her living room is filled with clutter, including racks upon racks of clothes.
In the interview, set to air Thursday, Niecy Nash — host of the Style Network’s Clean House reality show — has a sit-down with Lohan, who may be using hoarding as a coping mechanism for the estranged relationship she has with her father, Michael Lohan.
“It’s kind of a sore subject,” she says in the teaser, which promises to reveal her “private pain” for the very first time.
Yeah, her house is kind of a hot mess, but I’ve seen “Hoarders” about a hundred times so I ain’t impressed. I don’t even see any dead animals or piles of rotting food, and that preview clip didn’t show Lindsay pitching a fit and crying because someone was trying to throw away an old Taco Bell cup or a tampon receipt from 1993 or anything. It basically just looks like her house is stuffed to the rafters with (most likely stolen) designer merchandise, and she’s pretending like it’s all because of her jackass father and his mesh shirts. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Lindsay Lohan isn’t nearly insane enough for real, hardcore hoarding. Your hoarding is minor league, Lohan. You’ll never make it to The Show without at least one cat skeleton and a rodent infestation.
Michael Lohan, you never fail us. You are consistently the saddest excuse for a man on the planet, and as someone who makes a living off of writing stories about what a jackass you are, I would like to thank you for that. You are a gift.
Michael got arrested again today, you guys! For calling his former lover (ew) at work last week. This is the second time Michael’s been arrested recently for breaking the restraining order his ex-girlfriend Erin Mueller has against him. The last time Michael went to the slammer for this broad was back in December, so clearly it doesn’t take very long for him to unlearn his lessons.
Sadly, I’m pretty sure that he’s never going to change. Ever. He’s too old, he’s lost too much, he’s gone back to the Dark Side so many times after seeming to recover just slightly. This is a cycle we will be seeing play out over and over and over again until he dies or winds up in jail for good. We have so much to look forward to.
[Ed. Note: So, I'm Sarah and I'm filling in for Molls for the remainder of the day. I'm not as cute and don't smell as good -- kidding -- but I think I can clumsily take the reins well enough to satisfy your gossip-ogling pleasures. She'll return bright and early in the morning, but until then, you're just going to have to tolerate me hogging the blogosphere of EB Media. Enjoy!]
Michael Lohan has come forward with some serious allegations against his ex, Erin Muller. You know the one; she’s the lady that plugged him with a shoe last month. Yeah, that Mike Lohan ex. Muller has come forward to refute his claims of abuse and to add her own special sauce to the mix. Muller claims that on several occasions, Lohan punched her in the face, slapped her, threw blunt objects at her and … aimed a swift kick to her crotch.
God. Doesn’t this douchebag know that a kick to the cooterjust doesn’t hurt? What’s this guy trying to prove, anyway? What, did he think she had balls or something?
This guy’s such a twat. Really. He’s the guy that doesn’t know his ass from a hole in the ground. Yep, he’s That Guy. Even better, he’s the guy who doesn’t know the difference between himself and a twat. I always said this guy’d be kicking himself down the road — I just didn’t expect it to be so damned literal.
Michael Lohan doesn’t have a problem, OK? It’s not him, it’s all the drug-riddled crazies in his life. Him and his sheer muscle shirts and Jesus talk and paparazzi-calling ways are just fine… or so he’d have you believe, anyway.
In case you missed it, Michael Lohan was in the news last week because his ex-girlfriend Erin Muller put a call in to the police claiming that Michael had “started harassing me, questioning me who I have ‘been with, who’s car was currently in my drive way,’ things like that.” Sounds like pretty typical psycho ex-lover crap to me, but of course we’re talking about Michael Lohan (I love referring to him by his full name, can you tell?), so Erin is legitimately fearing for her life. She told the police that she was certain that he was capable of causing physical harm to her or her family.
Like the true example of a good father and real man that he is, Michael has now responded to Erin’s claims publicly and it looks like he’s fallen back on one of his old favorites: He’s calling her a druggie.
Michael Lohan tried getting his ex-fiancee arrested, claiming — just like he did with daughter Lindsay Lohan — his primary concern is getting the people he loves off drugs.
TMZ has obtained a police report filed by Michael on December 21. Lohan says, “My ex-fiance, Erin Muller, threatened me with a knife during an argument several months ago and I wish to pursue charges.”
Lohan then goes on to say … “I did not report this at the time because I wanted her to get help for her addictions.”
Brave Michael Lohan! At the hands of yet another addict! I can hardly believe it! This poor man has faced so much adversity in his life, can’t he just catch a break and finally meet some normal people to surround himself with? Jeez Louise! People are going to start thinking there’s something wrong with this guy because he attracts so many toxic personalities!
It’s just another day of crime-fighting for Superdad Michael Lohan! I’m assuming he’s trying to prove that he really isn’t the world’s worst dad alive by fighting Lindsay-imposters on Twitter. Says Digital Spy,
According to WENN, the father of Mean Girls star Lindsay is reportedly fed up with people pretending to be her on the social networking website.
His first tweet on Sunday read: “This is the Real Michael Lohan - all others who pretend to be me are frauds. Upon my attorney’s advice, I have opened this account.”
In order to convince any remaining skeptics, Michael then posted a photo of himself holding a sign that stated his name.
He has already begun going after the online hoaxers, sending a message to one fake Lindsay that read: “Don’t know who you are but my attorneys and Twitter will find out. You’re looking at civil and criminal charges shortly.”
My god, is he embarrassing or what? But I don’t know which is more pathetic–that he’s threatening to bring the fuzz on some idiots having a little harmless fun, or that he thinks someone would want to pretend to be him.
I don’t know that there are really words to express my disdain for Michael Lohan. It hurts me to write about him; it hurts me to think about him. If I had to play a game of Fuck Marry Kill with Michael Lohan, Joe Francis and Brandon Davis, I think I’d choose to kill myself instead. He’s like the most evil thing on the planet, and, like I always say, it’s a goddamn miracle Lindsay Lohan turned out so well with him as a parent.
That said, someone finally got it right and threw him in jail on Monday because he tried to make a phone call to his ex-girlfriend, Erin Mueller, who has a restraining order out against him. Let me get this straight: The authorities can arrest this slimeball for making a phone call, but no one can do anything about the fact that he recorded super-private conversations with his daughter and then sold them to Radar?
The terrible news is that he was released several hours later. WHY GOD WHY??? I can’t wait until he assaults someone with a shoe again and we can be rid of this asshole for another few years. If the recipient of the shoe assault could be Jon Gosselin, I will personally show up in court to offer my thanks to God and all that is holy in gossip.
