The 82nd Annual Academy Awards were last night, and other than The Dude winning for “Crazy Heart” and “Avatar” getting rightfully snubbed (“unobtainium,” anyone?), it was a completely forgettable affair. I remember some big fat black chick winning for something, and then she somehow turned into an even bigger, fatter, blacker chick by the end of the night, for which I have no explanation other than James Cameron and possibly peyote.
But the one thing I do remember are the dresses, and while there were plenty of disappointments, a few stars really stood out this time. Kate Winslet, for one. And her dress wasn’t even that spectacular, but paired with the jewelery and the hair and the makeup… I don’t know… she just looked perfect. Versace did Demi Moore and Elizabeth Banks proud, and as much as it pains me to say it, I thought Kristen Stewart’s dress was fantastic. I’ll save the rest of my vitriol and condescension for the worst-dressed, coming up next. Stay tuned!
If you care about this sort of thing, a list of the night’s winners here.
Kate Winslet in Yves St. Laurent and $2.5 million Tiffany jewels:
Meh. I’m not super excited about this. I don’t know what kind of spark I was hoping for with this flick, but I’m not seeing it in the trailer. That said, I think it was a smart choice of film for Dakota Fanning as she navigates the transition from child stardom to adult actress. She gets to play a drug-addicted sex symbol under the guise of it being a very important story. It’s not that she’s posing half-naked on beds and tables just so America won’t think of her as a little girl anymore — she’s doing it to capture the essence of a turning point in rock and in the way the music industry views women. Well-played, Dakota.
Meaning, of course, that they are somewhat awful. A track from the the Joan Jett biopic that the girls star in, The Runaways, has been released and doesn’t do much to make you want to see the movie. In fact, I’d say that this track makes me much less excited to check out the film. I wrongly assumed that they wouldn’t actually be singing much like they’re not actually playing instruments. Bummer.
The 2009 We Don’t Give a Fuck Tour has extended itself into 2010!!! On Monday, Robert Pattinson showed up on the red carpet for the premiere of his film, Remember Me, and posed with co-star Emilie de Ravin. Emilie’s next movie should probably be called Remember to Take Your Skirt Out of Your Underwear After You Pee, because obviously that was a problem for her this time around. FASHION! Honestly, people.
Also there: Kristen Stewart! She’s not in the movie but she gets to go to the premiere because she’s having vaginal intercourse with Robert Pattinson. And you know what? SHE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK. About ANYTHING, much less this boring, self-indulgent movie premiere she has to attend. She is sooooo over all of this, and it’s important you know that, and you can tell because of how bored she looks. Ennui is the new black, and window dressings are the new leggings, y’all.
“We can’t arrive at the same time because of the fans. It goes crazy. This was supposed to be a public appearance as a couple but it’s impossible. We are here together and it’s a public event but it’s not easy. We have to do all this stuff to avoid attention.”
- Robert Pattinson finally admits that he’s totally dating Kristen Stewart in The Sun.
In news that’s sure un-moisten the control-top panties of lonely fat girls everywhere, Twilight puss Robert Pattinson finally admitted he is dating co-star Kristen Stewart. That great disturbance you feel is the collective strain of a million Double Stuf Oreos suddenly crying out in terror and suddenly silenced. The Daily Mail says
After refusing to comment on their relationship for months, Pattinson finally broke his silence and admitted they were an item.
He told The Sun: ‘It is extremely difficult but we are together, yes. We can’t arrive at the same time because of the fans. This was supposed to be a public appearance as a couple but it’s impossible. We are here together and it’s a public event but it’s not easy.’
So they’re a couple, but they don’t arrive together and they don’t leave together and are only ever photographed together at Twilight premieres. Interesting. Just like he is a “heterosexual” but somehow allergic to vagina and hard-up for roles where he gets to kiss naked dudes. Riii-iiiight. I’ve never seen anybody who sucked so bad at lying. And I’ve seen Dick Cheney on “Meet the Press” more than once, so that’s really saying something.
Kristen at the BAFTA’s and the Elle Style Awards last week:
Kristen Stewart won a the Orange Rising Star award at the BAFTA awards last night and her acceptance speech was… awkward. It’s not that I expect more from Kristen. She’s proven herself to be somewhat of a poor public speaker, but this she’s accepting an award and she hardly cracked a smile. I suppose we’re going to have to get used to a starlet who refuses to fake it for the cameras.
These do absolutely nothing for me, but I’m sure some of you Twilight freaks will be all hot and bothered by these Eclipse stills that have popped up on the Internet today. What’s the deal with these two again? They’re virgins? Do they bone in the book version of this movie? Should I be looking forward to a rash of vampire-obsessed pregnant teens in America within the next year or so?
Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning were promoting The Runaways all week at Sundance and if this press conference is any indication of how Kristen handled herself throughout the week, then I’m sure the publicists at River Road Entertainment want to kill her. Where this video picks up, we see Dakota describing what it was like to sing The Runaways’ songs and do them justice. Then Kristen takes the mic and… well, she sounds like an awkward moron. I can barely hear anything she says, except the word “whatever”, which she uses about one hundred times. The poor girl knows she can’t hack it either, and looks embarrassed and apologetic as Dakota confidently steps back to the mic, giggling at her co-star’s inability to deliver.
I actually don’t dislike Kristen Stewart at all. I think she’s a bit boring and she’s wayyyy out of her league when speaking next to a seasoned pro like Dakota, but in her words, “whatever”.
