Sienna Miller fueled rumors that she and Jude Law are back together by leaving his New York apartment with an overnight bag and an umbrella covering his face. Perhaps time has healed old wounds or Sienna was willing to forgive Jude’s infidelity because of her own relationship choices the past couple years. Either way, I sure do hope those two whores are back together! That would be delicious!
Like a dog to its own vomit, Sienna Miller and Jude Law have somehow found their way back to each other. Star Magazine says
[Sienna and Jude] celebrated [Thanksgiving] together at the Italian restaurant Emporio in New York City.
An insider [said], “They had no problem flaunting their love right in the middle of the restaurant. They definitely looked like they were head-over-heels for each other. They came in holding hands and kept touching each other and kissing throughout the entire meal.”
A serial philanderer and a compulsive nymphomaniac! How could this possibly go wrong? It’s like it was written in the stars. Or possibly in “Syphilis and You: A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding Your STDs.” Congratulations to the happy couple!
Former model Samantha Burke unveiled the five-week old results of her one-night stand with actor Jude Law in an exclusive interview with this week’s Hello! magazine. The Daily Mail says
Miss Burke, who reportedly earned $300,000 for the Hello! photoshoot, said: ‘I think [Jude will] fall in love with her when he sees her. She has his chin and nose, and she does a little pout that I notice that he’s done before.”
But Miss Burke [admitted that] he has not yet traveled to meet Sophia.
Asked if she had received any presents from Jude, who demanded a DNA test a few months ago, the former model [said], ‘No, nothing.’
Unless you count the genital herpes she got from him ten months ago, but I wouldn’t really call that a present per se. It’s not like you can return it at a department store. But fortunately, you can always re-gift it!
Well, it didn’t take Samantha Burke long to whore out some photos of her daughter Sophia, the product of a short-lived tryst with Jude Law. In a way, isn’t it lovely that Burke agreed to appear on the cover of Hello! magazine to the tune of more than a quarter of a million dollars? Jude hasn’t met his daughter yet, so this is a good way for him to get a gander at the child. When asked about plans for Law to meet Sophia, Burke replied “There are no plans for it to happen at the moment, but I know he’s busy.”
D-listers galore have spawned this week — “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” star Sarah Michelle Gellar, “Grey’s Anatomy” actress Ellen Pompeo, and sometimes-model-turned-Jude-Law’s-drunken-bootycall Samantha Burke all gave birth within the last four days. People magazine says
Sarah Michelle Prinze and husband Freddie Prinze Jr. welcomed their daughter Charlotte Grace Prinze on Saturday, Sept. 19. This is the first child for the couple.
Samantha Burke, the 24-year-old aspiring actress whom Law met while filming Sherlock Holmes in New York City last year, gave birth to a daughter Tuesday night.
The Grey’s Anatomy star, 39, welcomed a daughter, Stella Luna Pompeo Ivery, on Sept. 15 in Los Angeles.
Ugh, the only way this post could be any more boring is if it were read aloud by Wilford fucking Brimley and somehow translated into bean curd and denture adhesive.
You can breathe a sigh of relief — it wasn’t the fat chick after all. Jude Law’s baby mama is actually an “aspiring model/actress” (surprise, surprise) named Samantha Burke. TMZ says
Our sources say DNA tests [confirm that] Jude’s the daddy. Burke’s due date is October 6th… she’s expecting a girl she will name Sophia.
Burke’s attorneys [said], “Ms. Burke can confirm that she did in fact have a relationship with Mr. Law and that she has informed Mr. Law that she is expecting his child later this fall. Since informing Mr. Law of the pregnancy, he has been nothing but responsive and supportive of Ms. Burke and the pregnancy.”
‘There is a high-powered lawyer in the girl’s family who is getting involved and Jude is terrified he will be financially cleaned out. Her family are also furious and upset that Jude has had his way and disappeared… with no further contact.’
The newspaper also claimed that Miss Burke wants a ‘large maintenance payment and total financial costs, including a percentage of Jude’s future earnings, to be agreed in writing.’
So she’s not as dumb as she looks after all! Clever girl. There’s a lot of money to be made in being a mother. If you can’t sell them to a sweatshop in Bangladesh or whore them out in a Thai brothel, children make fantastic pawns in divorce court. I call my oldest one my “ace in the hole!”
Jude Law got some chick pregnant; she’s due this fall. Her name hasn’t come out yet and they aren’t in a relationship, so it was probably a typical Jude Law conquest accomplished by a liberal application of Stoli and English charm (though, obviously lacking a liberal application of spermicide).
I started going through the photo agencies’ Jude Law pictures of the past year, looking for this mysterious female that is now impregnated with Law’s kid. (Obviously, I think I’m Nancy Drew.) I did find some pictures of him with a woman, and they just had that “look”. You know the look, the one that says “We’ve swapped body fluids.” They looked really intimate with their arms wrapped around each other and lots of eye-gazing. I was pretty much convinced that I’d found her, until I realized that the chick he looked so enamored with was … his sister.
It’s that special time in Jude Law’s life — the time when a man reaps the wages of being too drunk to use a rubber when he banged some skank he picked up at a bar. I’m pretty sure Hallmark makes a card for it. His spokesperson said in a statement:
“Jude Law can confirm that, following a relationship last year, he has been advised that he is to be the father of a child due in the fall of this year. Mr. Law is no longer in a relationship with the individual concerned but he intends to be a fully supportive part of the child’s life. This is an entirely private matter and no other statements will be made.”
