WTF Is Wrong with Jessica Simpson’s Mouth???
March 11th, 2010 at 01:36pm Under Celebrity News
Tags: Jessica Simpson, John Mayer, tony romo
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Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson is Still Fat
March 11th, 2010 at 09:47am Under Celebrity News
Jessica Simpson was on “The Late Show” with David Letterman last night, presumably to talk about her new show “The Price of Beauty,” but of course she spent most of the time talking about the men who’d dumped her and being fat. Well, technically, she didn’t as much talk about being fat as she did wear a dress that made her look like the broad side of a Mack truck, so I assume she was trying to broach the subject tastefully. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. That probably translates to about a hundred and sixty pounds, give or take, if you could actually weigh them.
Watch the interview after the jump.
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
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Tags: fat, Gossip, Jessica Simpson, Photos, pictures, weight gain
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Jessica Simpson Is a Pink Peacock Today!
March 11th, 2010 at 08:18am Under Celebrity News
Tags: David Letterman, Jessica Simpson
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Quotables
March 2nd, 2010 at 12:10pm Under Celebrity News
“I’m not angry, I’m not angry. I’m — well, I’m a little bit angry … I’m a little bit angry. Um — well, I don’t want people to know how I am in bed. I guess it could have been a lot worse.”
- Jessica Simpson, totally pussying out when talking to Oprah about her ex John Mayer blabbing to Playboy about their sex life.
Be mad or don’t be mad at all, Jessica!
Tags: Jessica Simpson, Oprah
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Jessica Simpson on the Big O
March 2nd, 2010 at 10:19am Under Celebrity News
Jessica Simpson is sitting down with Oprah today to talk about how hurt she was by ex-boyfriend John Mayer’s “sexual napalm” comments about her in Playboy. The Daily Mail says
As the singer struggled to hold back the tears, Jessica, 29, spoke to the Queen of Chat about how hurt she was when Mayer, 32, told the magazine last month that she was like a drug to him sexually.
But despite his apology, Jessica is still livid about his remarks and looked visibly upset in her interview with Oprah.
The full interview will be broadcast in the U.S. [today] but a sneak-peek trailer shows Jessica telling Oprah: ‘I don’t want people to know how I am in bed.’
Of course she doesn’t want people to know how she is in bed! It’s not like she ever invited cameras into her bedroom at any point in her life or anything! Oh, wait a minute… yes. Yes, she did. My mistake. I think the words I’m looking for here are “fuck you” and “you stupid whiny bitch.” You reap what you sow, fatty!
When she was still jerkable:
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Tags: Gossip, interview, Jessica Simpson, John Mayer, Oprah, playboy interview, sexual napalm
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Previews for Jessica Simpson’s New Show
February 25th, 2010 at 02:04pm Under Celebrity News
Jessica Simpson has a new show coming to VH1 called The Price of Beauty and I will most definitely be watching it. Why? I love Jessica Simpson because she’s quirky and adorable and I’ll watch anything she does. Also, it looks like it might be good for women or something.
The show has an interesting concept, especially for something put out by VH1. Jessica travels around to different countries to find out what their idea of beauty is. In this preview, we see Jessica visit a “fat hut”, where one woman has been living for months getting as fat as possible for her husband. She also visits Paris, the fashion capitol of the world, and tries her hand at runway modeling. Clearly they did their best to cover all ends of the spectrum.
Do I think this show will be particularly educational? Probably not. But it seems better than Taradise.
Tags: Jessica Simpson
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S.S. Ken Paves Cops a Feel on Jessica Simpson
February 23rd, 2010 at 01:34pm Under Celebrity News
Ken Paves demonstrates the best way to help “escort” a lady to the door in a crowded venue: breast-first. Gets ‘em every time. Whereas if you’re a girl, I recommend the “tugboat whistle” approach, where you “escort” your man through the room penis-first. Remember, two short blasts followed by a long one means “come on already,” while two long, one short indicates that you wish to pass an approaching maritime vessel on the starboard side. And that really doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, now does it? Let’s just try to stay focused here, ladies
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
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Tags: boobs, breasts, Gossip, grab, Jessica Simpson, Ken Paves, tits
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Jessica Simpson in Allure Magazine
February 17th, 2010 at 10:54am Under Celebrity News
Jessica Simpson owned up to her many failures in an in-depth interview with next month’s Allure magazine. And although she’s crashed and burned in a manner only previously seen with Exxon oil tanker and an Alaskan coastline, we all know what’s important is that you learn from your mistakes when you fail. Right? Not if you’re a Simpson! The NY Daily News says
Asked what she has learned from her relationships with ex-hubby Nick Lachey, musician John Mayer and NFL star Tony Romo, Simpson says, “Nothing.”
Couldn’t have said it better myself. Unless I’d said, “Thinkin and book-learnin make my brain feel all hurty.” Now on to more important issues: her tits.
“I will never do nudity,” she declares. “I don’t care how dark and intellectual the role could be, I don’t care if I frickin’ could get an Oscar for it, I’m not going to do it. Those accolades mean nothing to me. I don’t think people deserve to see what’s under my clothing. That’s only for my next husband. Ha ha ha.”
It’s good that acting accolades mean “nothing” to her. Because that “Major Movie Star” and “Blonde Ambition” were shat out of the ass of critical acclaim, and “Employee of the Month” was the chaser. The only thing she seems to be good at is failing, and nobody’s ever managed to make a career out of that. Other than France and Tom Green, but I don’t think they really count.
If you didn’t catch it in the quickies yesterday, see her practically naked here.
Tags: allure, Gossip, Jessica Simpson, nudity, Photos, photoshoot, pictures
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Quotables
February 16th, 2010 at 11:47am Under Celebrity News
“He didn’t make me go brunette! John doesn’t get credit for making me brunette. He’d like to think so, but he doesn’t deserve the credit.”
-Jessica Simpson attempts to tell Allure that John Mayer didn’t make dye her hair when they were dating, but I’m not so sure I believe that.
Tags: Jessica Simpson, John Mayer
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PETA Drops Their Worst Dressed List
February 14th, 2010 at 06:02pm Under Celebrity News
It’s not news that PETA uses some pretty immature tactics to get across their pro-animal/anti-fur message, but I am shocked by some of the statements they made about the stars who topped their Worst Dressed List this year. Basically, all you had to do to be a contender is wear fur or skins and so, as you can imagine, real fashion experts probably wouldn’t put these women on any such list.
PETA talked to Access Hollywood about their rankings and gave statements on each person who made the list. While they aren’t exactly the rudest things I’ve ever read (that would be pretty hard to do), they certainly didn’t sound too professional. Here’s a run down:
On their #1 Worst Dressed, Catherine Zeta-Jones: “With her creepy cow-skin pants, ugly fox coat, and icky alligator bag, Catherine Zeta-Jones looks like she’s working her way through Noah’s ark with a knife. Maybe she’s trying to get into character for an upcoming role as a serial killer — or a taxidermist.”
On Kate Hudson: “Kate, there’s no easier way to lose a guy in 10 days than by wearing a hairball. Maybe your furs are the reason why A-Rod ran for home.”
On Jill Zarin: “This ‘Real Housewife’ lives in the Big Apple, and her furry fashion sense is rotten to the core.”
They also said that Jessica Simpson’s clothing is as dead as her acting career and called out J.Lo for her “corpse coats”. Look, I don’t think that wearing fur is right, but attacking people’s careers and love lives to make a point about their clothing choices? Whack and kind of pointless if you ask me. And I say that as someone who makes a living being a jerk.
Tags: Catherine Zeta-Jones, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Simpson, Jill Zarin, Kate Hudson
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