Proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Jersey Shore cast is un-exterminable, Snooki and Vinny managed to dodge an Act of God a party in New York over the weekend. Way to drop the ball, Jesus! According to MSNBC
Snooki and fellow “Jersey Shore” star Vinny Guadagnino were among 300 guests at a Purim celebration at the Sony building in New York City. At about 11:10 p.m., snow that collected on the roof, which was partially windowed, caused the glass to collapse.
Snooki [tweeted]: “OMG roof just collapsed at the purim event! We thought the dj was beatin the beat hardcore but nope, the roof couldn’t handle snooki and vin.”
Guadagnino [tweeted]: “Roof just collapsed at Purim event…. I think me and @snooki felt the wrath for not being Jewish.”
No one was seriously injured.
Okay, so you might not be able to kill them outright, but you could always get rid of them for the time being by flipping on the kitchen light. They’ll scurry right back under the fridge with the rest of their little buddies. I don’t know if they make roach traps out of cigarettes and baby oil, but there’s always a chance that could work, too. And don’t forget about fire. Personal experience and three ex-husbands have taught me there’s practically nothing a good gasoline fire can’t cure. We really just need to explore all our options here.
The guys from Jersey Shore were recently treated to a photo session with the eccentric and wild Terry Richardson (that’s his blog, BTW. You should follow it if you don’t already.) The photos are priceless because, as usual, Terry manages to get a little extra something special out of his subjects. My favorite from the set? A close up of the magic that is Pauly D’s hair.
Even though she’s denied they exist, the first of several naked photos of Jersey Shore’s Snooki has been made its way onto the interwebs via the magical portal known as NakedSnooki.com. The photo in question shows Snooki on all fours but strategically covered, and sucking in with vengeance only previously seen courtesy Britney Spears and a can of Cheez Whiz. Radar Online says
RadarOnline.com has seen several photos and they appear to be genuine. The background of the photos matches the background of photos Snooki has released via Twitter – and the background is her bedroom.
There is also a short video that exists. Most of the photos are strategically posed, hiding much of Snooki’s body.
The people in possession of the photos have chosen to remain anonymous so far. But they have registered a domain name and put the photo on a Web site, where RadarOnline.com has viewed it.
It is the one of the set of photos previously seen by RadarOnline.com.
Good God. I’ve never seen skin that color in my life. It’s like a cross between Donatella Versace and a well-oiled catcher’s mitt. Although from a distance, you’d really be hard-pressed to tell either of those two things apart.
I told you guys a little while ago that there were some nude photos of Snooki from Jersey Shore being passed around. Snooki herself denied that the photos existed, but according to the website that hosts the above photo (NakedSnooki.com), that was a lie.
Some gossip bloggers are saying that this photo looks off, but I’m not so sure. Between the filthy floor and the orange body, I can’t imagine that that’s anyone else’s body with Snooki’s face on it. Snooki definitely seems like the kind of girl who wouldn’t even bother to pick the trash up off her floor before taking a nude photo she intended to sell. I’m pretty convinced that that is totally the Snookster.
There are so many rumors that need debunking this weekend, I’m just going to put them all in one post.
Eminem and ex wife Kim Mathers are not getting back together, and most definitely are not planning to have another child together, as was claimed by a rumor that made the rounds earlier in the week. Domestic violence charities rejoice.
Drew Barrymore and longtime boyfriend Justin Long are not getting engaged in spite of a Facebook update that suggested otherwise. According to Drew’s rep, the Facebook account that reported the engagement is actually a fake. As is the one with that picture of me sucking spilled beer off the floor of the Campus Pub. Yeah.
Finally, Jersey Shore Cast member Snooki took to her Twitter account to deny rumors that there are nude photos and videos of her being shopped around. So if you want to see an Oompa Loompa naked, you’re just going to have to go back to 4chan.
Ever wondered what “Jersey Shore” star Snooki would look without the poof and ten pounds of bronzer? Well, this is your lucky day. Inside Edition says
Celebrity hairstylist Francky L’official brushed out Snooki’s sky-high poof. Her heavy bronzer and dark eyeliner and shadow were replaced with much lighter neutrals and Us Weekly’s Fashion Director put Snooki in couture.
She looked super-sleek in a gray and black dress with shoe boots and a low pony tail. And the reality star was almost unrecognizable in a tailored black pantsuit… and a stunning gold and black Marchesa dress.
How does that old saying go? Something about putting lipstick on a pig… oh, wait — I remember now — it’s “You can put lipstick on a pig, and chances are good that The Situation will bring it home and have sex with it.” Consider yourselves warned, ungulates!
I am so incredibly sorry to share this news with you, but it appears that Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi is the latest member of the Jersey Shore cast to shop around nude photos of herself. Hey, there’s got to be a Juicehead somewhere out there who’s interested in seeing that, right?
What’s the damage? Apparently there’s a couple of photos, and a video (which I assume is not a sex tape because God’s just not that cruel) of the reality star in some compromising positions. One photo features Snooki buck naked, on her knees with one arm on the floor and the other holding on the bed next to her. The other photo is “too graphic to describe”.
Sad thing is, I don’t even think this is an idea that Snooki had on her own. I wouldn’t be surprised if she came up with the scheme to shoot and sell her own naughty photos after seeing the fuss that was made over her (much, much more attractive) co-star J-WOWW’s photos.
And in other news, we live in a world where people named Snooki and J-WOWW are not only famous, but newsworthy and famous. It’s probably time we all kill ourselves*.
You guys, I need this so, so, so badly. I need to go to the Jersey Shore and party with the natives. I need to see the gorillas in their natural habitat. I need to do it from the Jersey Shore house. It’s for rent, you guys. It’s for rent.
Full Description: Limited Time Only The Jersey Shore house is currently available for rent. This is a once in a life time opportunity to have your Graduation, Sweet Sixteen, Bachelor or Birthday party in one of the hottest properties on the East Coast. Book Now. Availability is limited. Current Rental Rates February 15 – May 1 $3500 single night rental* $2900 per night when you book 2 or more nights* May 1 – July 15 $6500 single night rental* $4500 per night when you book 2 or more nights* Memorial Day and July 4 Weekend $15000 3 night rental Friday – Monday* *All rentals are subject to a minimum damage security deposit of $1000.
I have never been much of a gold-digger, but I’m about to start, because I need a man who will rent this house this summer so my friends and I have somewhere to crash when we’re not out fist-pumping and drink-throwing in the clothes we bought from JWOWW’s upcoming clothing line. (OH YES I WILL OWN CLOTHING FROM THAT LINE. AND I’LL WEAR IT TOO.)
Speaking of JWOWW, I got an email from her publicist yesterday. This was the subject line:
MTV MEGA STAR J-WOWW TO SPEAK TO MEDIA TOMORROW REGARDING SECURITY ISSUES OF HER HOMECOMING CELEBRATION ON LONG ISLAND AFTER ALMOST RIOT
I read it like five times trying to figure out what the hell those words meant juxtaposed in that manner. And that was the part of the e-mail that made the most sense. Jenni, call me. Let’s talk about how to choose the people you work with a little more wisely. I’ll do your press releases for free, dear, if you’ll pay for my Jersey Shore house rental. Deal?
You’ll finally get to see JWoww’s… um, “wow,” because nekkid pics of “Jersey Shore” star Jenni Farley are currently being shopped around to the highest bidder. According to Radar Online
The photos of Jwoww being shopped leave NOTHING to the imagination.
In one photo, she is facing the camera, topless. It’s shot from the waist up and will certainly not disappoint her male fans.
A second photo shows Jwoww slightly turned, but with her back mainly toward the camera. She is wearing a skimpy wrap around her waist but that does not obscure the rear view!
The third photo is a full length topless frontal shot, where Jwoww is again wearing a small wrap around her waist and boots.
Sounds good, but how will we be able to know that they are real, bonafide naked pics of a Jersey Shore cast member when we see them? There are a lot of convincing photoshop forgeries out there. Well, don’t you worry, boys and girls. That’s why I’m here. I did a little research and discovered there are several key ways to tell if your Jersey Shore naked pics are authentic.
THE TOP TEN WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR JERSEY SHORE NAKED PICS ARE AUTHENTIC
10. They leave an oily residue on your monitor
9. All the photos are watermarked with the letters “GTL”
8. When you click on the thumbnails, Ronnie comes out of nowhere and suckerpunches you in the back of the head
7. You aren’t sure if you’re looking at a cast member or a post-op tranny
6. After you look at them, you find a bowl of “haterade” under the bed
5. Snooki’s date puked on them
4. They come with the warning “May stain clothing or skin; wearing gloves is recommended.”
3. They smell like pickles
2. There’s a crazy Israeli girl with glasses hiding in the lower left hand corner
and the number one way to tell if your Jersey Shore naked pics are authentic:
1. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, well, then… it’s probably just the house phone. Hey, better luck next time!
If you guys aren’t totally clueless, then you’ve seen Bobby Bottleservice on FunnyOrDie. It’s this great character played by Nick Kroll, who clearly has spent time in Los Angeles. This town is crawling with Bobby Bottleservice-types the way that New York is crawling with rats and and roaches. You could say that Los Angeles is crawling with rats and roaches too, but the rats spike their hair and the roaches have rhinestone t-shirs. ANYWAY! Enough about my dating life, let’s get in to why you should watch this video…
Bobby Bottleservice has been trying to get on the second season of Jersey Shore and he’s been making audition tapes. In the newest video, Bobby explains how his new t-shirts and would help integrate him in to the already stylish cast. “In addition to, as well as”, he also shows us his new tattoo of a very important person in his life.
