Jennifer Aniston’s Legs Have a New Movie Out
March 12th, 2010 at 07:21am Under Celebrity News
Tags: gerard butler, Jennifer Aniston
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Jennifer Aniston
Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler in W Magazine
March 11th, 2010 at 10:46am Under Celebrity News
Jennifer Aniston and her “The Bounty Hunter” co-star Gerard Butler did a sweaty desert shoot for next month’s W Magazine, and from what I can tell, Jennifer is supposed to be the prostitute and Gerard the john in the pictorial. Like in this picture, where she’s counting the cash, and then this one, where she’s being hauled away by the cops. In real life, Jennifer would never waste valuable time counting money. She’d be too busy scouring the seats for any residual semen that she could scrape into a test tube and take to a lab. I guess the photographers at W Magazine were going for a tongue-in-cheek kinda thing.
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Tags: april 2010, gerard butler, Gossip, Jennifer Aniston, photo shoot, Photos, pictures, W Magazine
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Jennifer Aniston Throws Her Own Birthday Party in Cabo
February 9th, 2010 at 10:01am Under Celebrity News
Jennifer Aniston’s family-less vacation in Mexico wouldn’t be complete unless she threw herself a “surprise” birthday party. A source told Page Six
“On Saturday, the staff lit 65 candles for her on the terrace of her villa, where all her guests, including Gerard, dined and drank, before a Mariachi band sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to her in Spanish and she was presented with a dark chocolate cake decorated with her star sign, Aquarius.”
It’s the little details that make a birthday party really special, isn’t it? Especially if the one providing all the details is the same one whose birthday party it is, because God knows no husband or children are going to throw her one since she doesn’t have any and it’s gonna be that way for the rest of her life anyway because she’s the relational equivalent of leprosy. I wonder how many Mexican cooks it took to convince her that “desperate” wasn’t a real cake flavor.
Bikini time:
PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin Online
Tags: birthday, cabo, gerard butler, Gossip, Jennifer Aniston, mexico, party, Photos, pictures
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Jennifer Aniston in Cabo with Gerard Butler
February 8th, 2010 at 09:02am Under Celebrity News
Jennifer Aniston jetted off to Los Cabos, Mexico to celebrate her 41st birthday with her standard crew of dried-up old birds this past weekend, but there was something different this time… something with a penis. Gasp! People Magazine says
She had a surprise birthday guest: Gerard Butler, her costar in the upcoming comedy, The Bounty Hunter.
Aniston flew a large group of pals including Butler, Courtney Cox and Sheryl Crow to the One & Only Palmilla resort Thursday evening where the group is staying in a beautiful waterfront villa.
There’s a name for the fine line between “perinnial bachelorette looking for a fling” and “hiring a male prostitute because you’re a lonely divorcée who divides her time between mahjong and canasta with the girls and drawing mustaches and horns on pictures of your ex-husband’s new wife,” and the name of that line is Gerard Butler. Frankly, it’s all downhill from there.
Lots more pics after the jump:
PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin Online
Tags: bikini, birthday, Courtney Cox, Gossip, Jennifer Aniston, mexico, Photos, pictures, Sheryl Crow
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Jennifer Aniston Celebrates Her 41st Birthday in Mexico
February 7th, 2010 at 02:15pm Under Celebrity News
If you’re looking for something uplifting or inspiring, you’d best go read something else: you’ll find naught but bitterness here.
Bitterness because the fact that Jennifer Aniston is turning 41 makes me feel really, really old.
Bitterness because, at 41, she’s more attractive than my saggy 28 year old ass will ever be.
Bitterness because while I’m stuck here huddling under a blanket in the grips of Snowtorious B.I.G. 2010 with nothing but my flaky, white, winter-ravaged skin to keep me company, her tan ass is prancing around in a bikini in fucking Cabo with Gerard Butler, Courtney Cox, and Sheryl Crow.
Can you taste that?
It’s the acrid taint of deep, bitter jealousy. Crack me a beer and pass the buffalo chicken dip– I’ve only got 14 hours (of Superbowl pregame shows) to get this taste out of my mouth.
Tags: Courtney Cox, gerard butler, Jennifer Aniston, Sheryl Crow, Uncategorized
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John Mayer is a Compulsive Jack-Off (Literally)
January 20th, 2010 at 02:12pm Under Celebrity News
John Mayer is in the new issue of Rolling Stone, and he talks about how he’s not over Jennifer Aniston and his compulsive masturbation. From OK!:
On his headline-making relationship, and subsequent split, with Jennifer Aniston, John confesses to Rolling Stone, ”I’ve never really gotten over it. It was one of the worst times of my life.”
He adds, “I have this weird feeling, a pride thing, for the people I’ve had relationships with. What would I be saying to Jen, who I think is f**ing fantastic, if I said to her, ‘I don’t dislike you. In fact, I like you extremely well. But I have to back out of this because it doesn’t arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life, this is not my ideal destiny.”
Continuing on this not-exactly-romantic path, John admits, “All I want to do now is f**k the girls I’ve already f**ked, because I can’t fathom explaining myself to somebody who can’t believe I’d be interested in them, and they’re going, ‘But you’re John Mayer!’ So I’m going backwards to move forward. I’m too freaked out to meet anybody else.”
So maybe it doesn’t come as a shock that John has resorted to a new level of self-gratification. “I am the new generation of masturbator,” he explains. “I’ve seen it all. Before I make coffee, I’ve seen more butt holes than a proctologist does in a week… I have masturbated myself out of serious problems in my life. The phone doesn’t pick up because I’m masturbating. And I have excused myself at the oddest times so as to not make mistakes. If Tiger Woods only knew when to jerk off. It has a true market value, like gold bullion.”
Gross. John Mayer is funny-looking (he’s got droopy eyes and freaky disturbing eyebrows and his head is an odd shape and his lips are lumpy) so I can only imagine how many things are wrong with his douchebag dick, and yet he never stops running his mouth off about it. He’s a self absorbed, unfunny tool shed. I wish he’d stop talking and singing and breathing. Just stop happening altogether, John Mayer. Go away.
Tags: Gossip, interview, Jennifer Aniston, John Mayer, masturbation, rolling stone
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Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler Are On Again
January 19th, 2010 at 10:21am Under Celebrity News
Are Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler an item again? And — more importantly — do you even give a shit? Yeah, I thought not. The NY Post says
The pair, who dated during the filming of “The Bounty Hunter” last summer, presented the best screenplay award together at the Golden Globes on Sunday night and repeatedly posed for photographs together. But a spy [says] that the real action was backstage.
“They were drinking [champagne] backstage,” says our spy. “At one point, they were making out in the kitchen. They were attached at the hip all night. They definitely seemed very couple-y. Producers for the show were actually laughing about it over their walkie-talkies.”
Nothing like a little bubbly to rekindle the flames of passion! I of course mean the “burning when you pee” kind of flames of passion. With Gerard Butler, that usually goes without saying.
Gerard with his old bag earlier this month — and I’m not talking about Jennifer Aniston. Zing!
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News Online, Bauer-Griffin Online
Tags: dating, gerard butler, Gossip, Jennifer Aniston
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The Golden Globes Happened Last Night
January 18th, 2010 at 05:16pm Under Celebrity News
The 2010 Golden Globe Awards were last night. We could kill some time talking about them, but nobody really cares about the actual awards. Let’s just cut to the chase and take a look at what all the ladies were wearing, shall we?
Halle Berry:
Christina Hendricks:
Jennifer Aniston (with Gerard Butler):
Nicole Kidman (with Mo’Nique):
Diane Kruger (with Joshua Jackson):
Mariah Carey (with her wife Nick Cannon):
Christina Aguilera:
Penelope Cruz:
Sandra Bullock (with Jesse James):
Anna Paquin (with Bill Moyer):
Olivia Wilde:
Drew Barrymore (with Justin Long):
Lea Michele:
Fergie (with Josh Duhamel):
Heather Graham:
Kate Hudson:
January Jones:
Heidi Klum (with Seal):
Amy Adams (who’s pregnant at the moment):
Emily Blunt (with John Krasinksi):
Anna Kendrick:
Cameron Diaz:
Kristen Bell:
Sigourney Weaver:
Jennifer Garner:
Marion Cotillard:
Jennifer Morrison:
Tina Fey:
Maggie Gyllenhaal:
Tags: amy adams, Anna Kendrick, Anna Paquin, Bill Moyer, Cameron Diaz, Christina Aguilera, Christina Hendricks, Diane Kruger, Drew Barrymore, Emily Blunt, Fergie, gerard butler, golden globes, Gossip, Halle Berry, Heather Graham, Heidi Klum, January Jones, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Morrison, Jesse James, John Krasinksi, josh duhamel, joshua jackson, Justin Long, Kate Hudson, Kristen Bell, Lea Michele, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Mariah Carey, marion cotillard, Mo'Nique, Nick Cannon, nicole kidman, Olivia Wilde, Penelope Cruz, Sandra bullock, Seal, Sigourney Weaver, Tina Fey
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Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom Get Into the Same Car and So Are Obviously in Love
November 26th, 2009 at 10:41pm Under Celebrity News
The paparazzi caught Jennifer Aniston and Orlando Bloom in the same car in London after the both flew into Heathrow. They exited the airport separately, but ended up getting into the same car, so now we all get to assume that they’re dating. I’ve got no idea why they’re both in London (filming a movie, maybe? I refuse to pay for IMDBPro to find out), but I hope they at least both had somewhere lovely to spend Thanksgiving, even if it was in each other’s genitals.
Tags: Jennifer Aniston, Orlando Bloom
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Jennifer Aniston Stabs SmartWater in the Back
November 13th, 2009 at 01:06pm Under Celebrity News
This may not seem like a big deal, but SmartWater spokesperson Jennifer Aniston was seen toting around a rival brand the other day and ooooooh, boy, does that piss off companies that spend millions to make sure their water is seen in the hands of stars.
Remember back in the day when Britney was shilling for Pepsi but kept Coke on her concert rider? She nearly lost her contract over that and had to sign papers saying that she wouldn’t be seen with any other soft drink. While I doubt these grainy paparazzi shots are going to get Aniston in too much trouble, they hopefully will serve as a reminder to the star that once you sign a piece of paper saying you’ll rep a companies’ goods and take money for it, you sure as hell better make sure you hold up your end of the agreement. Big Bro is always watching, girl.
Tags: Jennifer Aniston
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