“The Hills” star Audrina Partridge strips down in the British version of FHM, which you’ll notice is a lot like our FHM, but with kilometers instead of miles and fish ‘n’ chips instead of toothbrushes. Lucky for us, boobs are not bound by cultural idiosyncrasies. Pip pip cheerio, mates!
Jessica Gomes seems to have magically Anglicized herself in the March issue of Australian Maxim. She’s like a completely fucking different person. Last time we saw her, she looked a whole lot more, um… exotic, if you catch my drift. I guess you can only go so far in the industry as “Nail Tech #9″ and “Prostitute Turned War Bride/Dry Cleaner.” Crouching tiger, crappy paycheck!
Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley doesn’t just do lingerie; she also does bikinis. That’s what’s we in the masturbating arena refer to as a “double threat.”
Lindsey Vonn, the most successful female skier in history, took home the gold in the Olympic downhill in Vancouver yesterday, and she’s expected to win at least two more in the next few days. So I thought it was only fitting that I post these pictures of her in a bikini in Sports Illustrated. You know, so you could get a load of her “mounds” on the, um… “peaks.” Okay, I’ll stop now.
Alicia Keys is currently in Rio de Janeiro filming a new music video with Beyonce for her latest single “Put It In a Love Song.” Although from these pictures, “Put It In a Love Song” doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Now “The Ballad of the Sea Donkey,” that I could understand. I don’t know why singers try to make song titles so ambiguous sometimes.
The only way these pictures of American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi could be more boring is if they were part of Sunday morning church service with your grandparents and served in a bowl of lukewarm cauliflower purée. I’m downright embarrassed for Maxim. But still not as embarrassed as I’d be if someone actually caught me reading Maxim. Ha ha, I still have my dignity, you know!
Tennis star Andy Roddick’s wife Brooklyn Decker has been revealed as this year’s cover girl for Sports Illustrated 2010 Swimsuit Edition, which hits newsstands today. Also hitting today: angry women who catch their husbands trying to rub one out on Brooklyn’s face while crouching behind the riding mower in the tool shed. I can still see you from here, dumbass!
Tennis star Andy Roddick’s wife Brooklyn Decker has been revealed as this year’s cover girl for Sports Illustrated 2010 Swimsuit Edition, which hits newsstands today. Also hitting today: angry women who catch their husbands trying to rub one out on Brooklyn’s face while crouching behind the riding mower in the tool shed. I can still see you from here, dumbass!
Super Bowl XLIV was last night, and I could really give two shits that the Saints won, so here are some pics of Gossip Girl’s Blake Lively in a bikini with her main gay Chace Crawford instead. And speaking of Chace Crawford, enjoy the above video of someone who could totally beat Chace’s ass with one wrinkled hand tied behind her back: the illustrious Betty White in the above Snickers Super Bowl commercial. Hell, I’d put my money on the rapping grandma from “The Wedding Singer” before I’d bet on Chace Crawford hitting anything other than a man’s ass with the backside of his balls.
Jennifer Aniston jetted off to Los Cabos, Mexico to celebrate her 41st birthday with her standard crew of dried-up old birds this past weekend, but there was something different this time… something with a penis. Gasp! People Magazine says
She had a surprise birthday guest: Gerard Butler, her costar in the upcoming comedy, The Bounty Hunter.
Aniston flew a large group of pals including Butler, Courtney Cox and Sheryl Crow to the One & Only Palmilla resort Thursday evening where the group is staying in a beautiful waterfront villa.
There’s a name for the fine line between “perinnial bachelorette looking for a fling” and “hiring a male prostitute because you’re a lonely divorcée who divides her time between mahjong and canasta with the girls and drawing mustaches and horns on pictures of your ex-husband’s new wife,” and the name of that line is Gerard Butler. Frankly, it’s all downhill from there.
