March 5th, 2010 at 03:00pm Under Celebrity News
I MEAN HOW WOULD YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A VAGINA LOOKS LIKE IF YOU DON’T HAVE A BARBIE????
Oh, wait.
Shut up, stupid magazine.
Tags: Angelina Jolie, Shiloh "John" Jolie-Pitt
By Evil Beet Continue Reading Because How Is a 3-Year-Old Girl Supposed to Develop Any Sense of Self in the Absence of Barbies?Add comment
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:16pm Under Celebrity News
Another tell-all book about Brangelina is about to hit the shelves, this one filled with shocking allegations like “Angelina Jolie was into S&M before she met Brad Pitt.” I’ll give you a moment to collect yourself. Nine MSN says
‘Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: The True Story’ claims that Angelina and [British actor] Ralph [Fiennes] would meet for regular kinky sex sessions at a hotel in London. “They would order room service and watch the news together in bed afterward.”
The book also claims Ange slept with Mick Jagger when he was still married to his wife Jerry Hall back in the nineties, and that Ange still had something going on with Ralph and with her ex-husband Johnny Lee Miller when she first met Brad.
“Hollywood will be rocked by these revelations about Brad and Angelina,” claims the author.
I doubt anyone will be “rocked” by these allegations. Angelina Jolie wore a vial of blood around her neck and was into heroin for a while, so dabbling in a little S&M seems par for the deviant course. Now if they told me Angelina was into reenacting Civil War battles and building model railroad layouts to scale, then I might be shocked. And possibly a little turned on. I mean really, who would have ever thought we’d have so much in common?
Brangelina + the kiddies in Paris yesterday:
PHOTO SOURCE: Pacific Coast News
Tags: Angelina Jolie, biography, brad pitt and angelina jolie: the true story, Gossip, kinky sex, Photos, pictures, ralph fiennes, s&m
By abby Continue Reading Angelina Jolie Was Into S&MAdd comment
February 25th, 2010 at 01:33pm Under Celebrity News
Jon Voight and Angelia Jolie recently reconciled after years of not speaking, and you’d think that Jon would have learned a thing or two about keeping his mouth shut over the years, but luckily he didn’t. Luckily for us, I mean. I’m sure it’s a living hell for Angelina to have a father like this.
The actor went to Radar Online to discuss his reunion with Angelina and while he’s not exactly a pro like Michael Lohan when it comes to ruining his daughter’s life, the guy’s not bad. Here are some choice quotes:
“It was just wonderful to spend time with Angelina and Brad and the children. I’ve been waiting so long to hug my grandchildren and it was amazing, they are the most beautiful, loving kids you could imagine and I’m not just saying that because I’m their grandfather, they really are something special.”
“Angelina and Brad are so happy together and they are the most amazing, loving parents I’ve ever seen. It truly moved me to see how Angie is as a mom, I am so proud of her – she has so much love to give and to share with the children and with Brad.”
“Angie and I have been in contact on the phone and by email for some time now. We’ve been working towards a full reconciliation for a while. Angie had to feel it was the right time to bring me into the lives of her and the kids and after some work she decided the moment had arrived.”
You see, it’s not that anything he said was bad, it’s just that he’s saying it at all. He paints his daughter, her man and their children in a wonderful light but, uh… STFU, Jon! Either this guy doesn’t actually care about having a relationship with his daughter or he’s completely insane. Either way, how sad for Angelina that this is her father.
Tags: Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Jon Voight
By molls Continue Reading Never Forget That Jon Voight is The Original Michael LohanAdd comment
February 24th, 2010 at 01:16pm Under Celebrity News
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie want us to know that not only are they soooo not breaking up, but they love each other enough to suck face in the middle of the street. Does it matter if their kids are there? No! Let them see the love that mommy and daddy share! Does it matter that there’s a strange man taking their photo across the street? All the better! Let these two crazy-in-love fools show the rest of the world how to do the damn thing.
I give them another year, tops.
Tags: Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt
By molls Continue Reading Who The Hell Are You Two Trying To Convince?Add comment
February 24th, 2010 at 12:15pm Under Celebrity News
In the wake of a month of non-stop split rumors, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie put on a very public display of affection while she was on location shooting “The Tourist” yesterday. Star Magazine says
After their four older kids begged them to stop fighting, Angelina and Brad have made peace and traveled together to Europe — where Angie’s filming for the next three months to mend their fractured relationship.
In between takes, the couple shared a very public kiss — in front of the crew and waiting photographers — making it clear that, after months of fighting, they’re working it out.
Or Angie has found a new way to orally vacuum Brad’s balls straight out through his mouth like some kind of testicle-hungry Dementor from Harry Potter. It wouldn’t be right to make assumptions when we don’t actually know what’s going on here.
PHOTO SOURCE: Bauer Griffin Online
Tags: Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Gossip, kiss, pictures
By abby Continue Reading Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are in Love AgainAdd comment
February 22nd, 2010 at 09:17pm Under Celebrity News
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are heading from Venice to Paris, where Jolie is scheduled to shoot scenes for The Tourist with Johnny Depp. These photos were taken this morning, and the netterwebs are collectively pissing their pants because those twins are in them.
I don’t like babies. They have ginormous heads and they’re totally codependent and they’re really loud and they usually smell and they’re always sticky and they can never seem to close their mouths all the way so they look really stupid all the time and the least disgusting thing they’re ever covered with is a paste made of drool and diaper cream, but for some asinine reason most people are completely in love with babies. So here you go, here are some pictures of the littlest wrigglers in the Jolie-Pitt Rainbow Coalition.
I think they’re kinda fug. And they probably smell.
Tags: Angelina Jolie, babies, Brad Pitt, brangelina, Gossip, Johnny Depp, Jolie-Pitt, knox, maddox, pax, Photos, pictures, shiloh, The Tourist, vivienne, zahara
By sarah Continue Reading Oh Look, BabiesAdd comment
February 22nd, 2010 at 01:46pm Under Celebrity News
I swiped these pictures of Knox and Vivienne Jolie-Pitt from JustJared so I could show you how surprisingly not adorable the twins turned out to be. Well, they’re no Shiloh, anyway. Sure, sure. They’re still above average-looking and will probably grow up to be obnoxiously foxy adults, but for right now I am finding comfort in the fact that not everything that comes out of Angelina Jolie’s body is perfect. Let me have that.
Tags: Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Knox Jolie-Pitt, Vivienne Jolie-Pitt
By molls Continue Reading Send Them Back!Add comment
February 21st, 2010 at 07:06pm Under Celebrity News
Jolie and her father, actor Jon Voight, haven’t been on speaking terms since 2001, when he used a television appearance to make a public appeal for his daughter to get help for “her serious mental problems.”
But things may be looking up for their father/daughter relationship. This afternoon, the two were photographed boarding a water taxi together in Venice, along with Brad and a few of the adorable Captain Planeteers.
While riding in a taxi together isn’t exactly indisputable proof that they’ve worked out all their problems, it’s a good sign that they are at least talking to each other.
Tags: Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Jon Voight
By Kelly Continue Reading Angelina Jolie Reconciles with Father, Jon VoightAdd comment
February 9th, 2010 at 11:31am Under Celebrity News
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are suing mad over a story ran in British tabloid paper News of the World last week claiming the couple were on the verge of a nasty split. The Guardian UK says
Hollywood stars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie today began a privacy action against the News of the World over a story that alleged the couple were separating.
The couple’s London lawyers said today: “The News of the World has failed to meet our clients’ reasonable demands for a retraction of and apology for these false and intrusive allegations which have now been widely republished by mainstream news outlets. We have advised them to bring proceedings, which they have now done.
We can confirm unequivocally that the allegations published by the News of the World are false as well as intrusive,” the firm said.
Of course they’re not splitting up! Why, Brad and Angelina’s love is as real as… as real as Bar Refeali’s breasts. Which, incidentally, I happened to have fifteen pictures of right here. I didn’t think it would be fair to draw that kind of visual analogy without giving you a proper frame of reference. I’d hate to be responsible for a disconnect between writer and reader.
In the swimsuit issue:
Tags: Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, divorce, Gossip, law suit, news of the world, split, suing
By abby Continue Reading Brad and Angie are Still TogetherAdd comment
February 9th, 2010 at 11:31am Under Celebrity News
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are suing mad over a story ran in British tabloid paper News of the World last week claiming the couple were on the verge of a nasty split. The Guardian UK says
Hollywood stars Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie today began a privacy action against the News of the World over a story that alleged the couple were separating.
The couple’s London lawyers said today: “The News of the World has failed to meet our clients’ reasonable demands for a retraction of and apology for these false and intrusive allegations which have now been widely republished by mainstream news outlets. We have advised them to bring proceedings, which they have now done.
We can confirm unequivocally that the allegations published by the News of the World are false as well as intrusive,” the firm said.
Of course they’re not splitting up! Why, Brad and Angelina’s love is as real as… as real as Bar Refeali’s breasts. Which, incidentally, I happened to have fifteen pictures of right here. I didn’t think it would be fair to draw that kind of visual analogy without giving you a proper frame of reference. I’d hate to be responsible for a disconnect between writer and reader.
In the swimsuit issue:
Tags: Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, divorce, Gossip, law suit
By abby Continue Reading Brad and Angie are Still TogetherAdd comment
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